What is the better religion? Scientology or Climatology?

The most pressing question most people have nowadays in the global warming movement is whether the religion is nuttier then a fruitcake or not.  Well, a good way to answer this question is always with some old-fashioned compare and contrast with another fruitcake so to speak.  So which religion is nuttier?  That is quite the question and the only way to solve that dilemma is to have me as an impartial jury, judge and executioner to do the appropriate and complete compare and contrast that is just simply outright impartial.

Are believers in Climatology and/or Scientology nuttier then this fruitcake? That question is answered farther below!

And without further ado, here is the results of this basic test on the (cults) :

1.  Who or what is the ultimate power?
Scientology: L. Ron Hubbard (narcissistic asshole)
Climatology: Al Gore (see above)

 

2.  What is Evil?
Scientology: anti-science
Climatology: A molecule that makes up less than 1/20000 of the atmosphere.  ultimately man is evil.
3. Most bizarre beliefs:
Scientology: Aliens and reincarnation.
Climatology: Biblical level disasters like rising seas, droughts to end all droughts and “weird weather”.
4.End of the world scenario:
Scientology: Aliens returning
Climatology: Biblical level disasters like rising seas, droughts to end all droughts and “weird weather”.
 

5.  Celebrities involved:

Scientology: John Travolta, Tom Cruise, and many other narcissistic assholes.
Climatology: Al Gore, Dr. Hansen, Leonardo DiCaprio, James Cameron and many other narcissistic assholes.
6.  How does a good person act?
Scientology: Reach personal enlightenment by understanding the role of the Thetans.
Climatology: Stop all mining, logging and other ventures that man does.  Live in a cave off of the land.
7.  What is the ethics of said religion:
Scientology: Always act in the best interest of the most people in the dynamic.
Climatology: Post-Normal Science: You can do or say anything even if its untruthful just to get the idea across.
8. How old is the Earth?
Scientology: 4.5 billion years old.
Climatology: True Earth is only 100 years old, but sometimes we can say its 1000 years old.  Never older then that.
9.  How is History reinterpreted:
Scientology: Cosmic events in the past were due to aliens and other interactions.
Climatology: If it does not fit the story of global warming, it never happened.  Just rewrite history as we go to make sure no one gets confused on the “proper science”
10.  How are non-believers characterized?
Scientology: un-trustworthy, not worth talking to.
Climatology: Holocaust deniers, flat-earthers, creationists,  big oil paid shrills, tobacco denialists, and so on.
11. How are non-believers treated?
Scientology: Generally just ignored unless they want to convert them.  Then they secretly teach them different levels as they progress in the church.  If you insult anyone for these beliefs, the lawsuits come fast and furious.  Remember, they are all narcissistic assholes, so don’t insult their religion.
Climatology: If you do not believe, you are (any number of insults) and anti-science.  No one attempts to convert, as it would be crazy to not believe.  If you insult anyone for these beliefs, the lawsuits come fast and furious.  Remember, they are all narcissistic assholes, so don’t insult their religion.
12. Best fiction from the celebrities:
Scientology: BattleField Earth (written by L Ron Hubbard)
Climatology: Softcore Porn written by Pauchari (head of IPCC)
13.  What is best way to re-educate people who do not believe?
Scientology: Modern psychology such as Freud, etc. , Lawsuits, custody hearings and so on.
Climatology: Concentration camps for the non-believers are ideal, but lawsuits, custody hearings and so on do suffice for now.
14.  What is the holy word?
Scientology: Writings of L Ron Hubbard
Climatology: IPCC
15.  How is the holy word kept secret from non-believers?
Scientology: Lawsuits, intimidation and other forms keep the sacred texts from outside eyes.  Not always sucessful.
Climatology: Lawsuits, intimidation, and secret email accounts are used to bypass FOI acts and
to keep the sacred words and data of the priests from prying eyes.  Almost never successful

I scored the religion of global warming (Climatology) as nuttier then Scientology, so in the end we must ask ourselves, which is the better cult?  Perhaps that is a philosophical question, so I really have no clue.

Feel free to correct my responses and/or to add any you want.   Enjoy.  And remember, if it tastes like a nutty fruitcake and looks like a nutty fruitcake, it probably IS a nutty fruitcake.

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